When it comes to my hair, I've done it all.
In my teenage pursuit to be Molly Ringwald, I made my hair strawberry blonde and cut it into "a bob."
My twenty-something attempts at becoming Meg Ryan led me to the mall for a spiral perm and "highlights" that were more than a little over processed. My hair glowed. I melted an ice cap.
Motherhood and my early thirties brought a "wash and wear" short haircut. I told myself that it looked like Faith Hill's hair. (The 90's Faith Hill.) I didn't.
Somewhere along the line I realized that Molly, Meg and Faith were using their hair and I'd better find what looked best on me instead of what looked good on them.
I think I finally found what suits me, although it is quite an undertaking. It is the color and style you have been seeing on this site. The non-descript mousey brown hair and gray hair gets touched up down to the roots. Highlights are then foiled in. It is blown straight. It is shoulder length.
Somehow, I managed to balance my hair's Qi (Chi). Forget just the Wind and Water of Feng Shui, I had the full 5 elements going on.
Water: I wash my hair with the finest shampoo $24 can buy (I should be ashamed!)
Wood: (represents growth) I keep my hair longish and "pony-tail-able"
Fire: That would be my hair dryer
Earth: That's all the crap (3 different products) I put in my hair. The first is the stuff that makes my hair straight, the second is the root lifter so it's not too flat, and the third helps restore shine taken out by my hair dryer.
Metal: Oh, how I LOVE my flat iron. The brand name? Chi. It's a sign.
So, when Nicole, my stylist, brought up the idea of going a little darker with my hair color for the fall and winter, I think I heard one of my Chakras close. Or maybe one opened, I'm not sure. But I agreed to try it. It's only hair right?
Nicole laid out the plan. My roots would be touched up with my "natural" color. (What the hell color is that? I wondered. I haven't seen that color in like 15 years.) That brown color would also be foiled through the rest of my hair, along with some blonde.
Here is the result:
Notice my left eyebrow in this photo? Yeah, half of it is missing. I accidentally waxed it off. Anyway, back to the hair....
I thought my husband would hate it, but he likes it. Go figure. I thought he liked his blonde wife. I think he might like it because he feels like he's sleeping with another woman, and yet, I am not offended.
I am still getting used to it. Everyone is saying it's a good look for the winter. So if I look at my hair as an accessory instead of a body part, it's a little more OK with me. After all, I don't wear my flip flops in February.
But it's hard for a woman to get behind this rationale. Our hair defines us in so many ways. It's how we describe ourselves and others. She's a brunette. She has long hair. She has short hair. Everything has its implications.
Especially when we are making obvious choices about our appearance.
I wanted to be Molly Ringwald, so I mimicked her. I thought Meg Ryan was as cute as the day was long, so I tried to emulate her. I wanted to focus on my new baby, so I cut my hair and took the focus off me.
It seemed that I'd finally come into my own and now I've gone and changed myself.
Who am I if I'm not the blonde that I've been?
I'm really not as insecure as I sound. The fact that I make changes and take chances says more about me than my hair color does. And right now, when I put my hair up, I become my own evil twin. That's an interesting concept and it could come in handy.
And thanks to Nicole and the miracle of modern chemistry, I can change it all back again.
Still feeling a little unsettled and insecure about the whole thing (Am I blonde? Am I a brunette?), I asked my husband, "If you had to describe me, to point me out at a party to someone who didn't know me, what would you say?"
"I'd tell them to look for the most beautiful woman in the room."
Molly, Meg and Faith can keep their hair. I'll keep Frank.
